Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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