i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
