areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize