I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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