you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
