i barfeds in our rink
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think a kid would responsible me up
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
