Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
