I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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