WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
