My nipple is on Facebook.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize