my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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