Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We had sex on a dog bed..
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
