we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
i think i just lost a toe
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
