He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
