Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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