thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
