Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
