Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
