It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
