The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
