She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
