He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
