I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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