Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
