i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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