I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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