So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
