Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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