And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
