Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
