u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I wear drunk well.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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