I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
