This girl is more easily done than said...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
