Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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