so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
