so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize