My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
