You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Little spoons don't ask big questions
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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