I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
