We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
