Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
