hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
