Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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