What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
