dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
