He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
