Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
