first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
