no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
