I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
