Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
