Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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