You really coming over, don't trick.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
