You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
