he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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