The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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