i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
