if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
