who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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